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Yes ladies and Gents The Phantom is walking amongst you... MARCEL ROCKS (BUT HAS A CUSTARD ARM) Cal and Gidge recently went back to Darren and Marcel’s place after last drinks were called at the Club. Being a mild night, they decided to sit outside and drink whatever came out of the cupboard – and lots came out of the cupboard that night, or early morning.
All assured us that they were just having a few drinks and talking quietly. Of course, we didn’t believe the “quiet” bit at first – drunks always reckon they are quite even when the noise level rises to that of a jet engine at full thrust. However, Darren, being the only one not consuming alcohol confirmed that they were as quiet as little mice.
Marcel reckons she makes a mean home made pizza – and the boys agreed.
She also cooked up a storm of popcorn.It was like one of those old silent movies with popcorn gushing out of the back door and into the yard.
We don’t know if it was the quietly talking mice or the volcano of popcorn that woke their neighbour at 2.30 am, but whatever it was, he was none too pleased.
“What the f***k are you people doing out here, a bloke is trying to get some f******g sleep and all I can hear is you c***ts”, he said mildly while looking over the fence. “I’ll call the f*****g cops if you don’t quieten down”, he said with a friendly smile.
Wrong!!! Never threaten Marcel.
“Why don’t you pull your f*****g head in and mind your own f*****g business” replied Marcel using her best manners.
After a further exchange of pleasantries over the fence, said neighbour climbed down from the fence turned to go inside at which point Marcel, in a reconciliatory manner said, “Goodnight Princess”.
Not long after Cal and Gidge left to wend their way home.
However, Marcel was not finished with the neighbour from hell.
“I’ll fix his little red wagon” she vowed quietly as she strolled nonchalantly into the backyard.She proceeded to pick up about a dozen decorative river stones that happened to catch her eye and thought that she would lob one onto the metal roof of the neighbour’s house just to wish him goodnight.
With an almighty heave, Marcel launched the first stone over the fence and waited for the deafening crash of stone on metal.
Plop. The stone fell harmlessly on the neighbours’ back lawn.
Not to be discouraged, she got closer to the fence and tried again.
The second stone hit the fence and bounced back quicker than it went and nearly took Marcel’s eye out.
Unperturbed, she climbed up on to the spa to gain some extra height to launch the next missile.
Heave.
Plop.
Heave.
Plop. And so on until her arsenal of stones was exhausted.
Talk about a custard arm.
The next morning the neighbour again poked his friendly face over the fence and asked politely “Hey, did you throw these f*****g stones onto my back lawn”?
“No” replied Marcel equally politely, “There are no f******g stones like that in our yard – have a look for yourself you stupid idiot if you don’t believe me.”
Of course there weren’t any in your back yard Marcel. You had thrown them all over into his place!
Keep and eye out for an upcoming club function in the back yard at Darren & Marcel’s soon.
BYO rocks.
Callum Tangles With Local Rose At the 20/20 match on Sunday, Callum foolishly told the Phantom’s wife that he had a brush with death on the way home from the Club on Saturday night.
“My life flashed before my very eyes” said a perplexed Callum - it was quite a small flash.
“I just decided to jog home from the club when I ran into a climbing rose hanging over the fence and it dropped me to the ground” he said adding that “I didn’t think that roses were all that strong.”
In an (ineffective) attempt to hide the tiny scratch on the side of his jaw, he had decided not to shave.
More worrying was the scores of scratches on his hands and arms.
“I retraced my steps from last night, found the rose and thrashed it to within an inch of its life” said Cal proudly whilst applying antiseptic to the myriad of scratches.
Rose - 2; Cal - Nil Callum's amazing extendable foot and the mystery of the no balls Our first eleven pulled off an amazing win in the 1st round of the season despite the Captain bowling 11 no balls.
“I can’t understand what happened” said a perplexed Callum Appleyard.
“I haven’t bowled that many no balls in a game in my entire career” he lamented before going on to say that the only explanation must be his extendable foot. Callum Gadget???
He went on to explain that his foot extends whilst it is in mid air in his delivery stride.
“I can’t think of any other explanation” said the young Captain/Coach.
After a few more ales, he thought that he remembered that he may have bowled 14 no balls in a match with Abberton in Englnd but he couldn’t be sure. The English climate may have been the reason for his extendable foot.
However, he was unable to explain why, if his foot was extendable, that his heel was the culprit, not his toes that were a good 2 feet further away.
The amazing extendable foot also caused him to put a huge gash (small scratch) on the front of his shin and he was asking anyone who would listen how this could happen without his whites being torn by the spikes.
He has also purchased a set of 10 kg dumbbells to improve his strength but can only manage one bicep curl before having to put them down. Trying a tricep curl behind his head however proved the more difficult exercise, as he had to have his mother retrieve the dumbbell from behind his neck because he didn’t have the strength to lift it back. For my first report, its some Pre Season News... Frank "Limpy" Triulcio has been training the house down in what may be his first ever pre season, there has also been a couple of boys losing their breakfast at the Sunday morning sessions at Shore Reserve........... Cam.... how's the tummy?
And the return of one of our past players, who looks like he's been in a nice paddock for the past years, the ORIGINAL Penguin has returned to the Redbacks.... Mark " Penguin" Baldwin is BACK.... Looked good in the nets with the ball, still turns it a mile but looked a little lost facing the bowling machine, guess when he last played these weren't around... welcome back Pengi..... guess that means
We now have TWO Penguins....Daffy you are now Pengi 2.. 
Watch out lads I am always watching... and will be watching all the action at Strath Creek Regards The Phantom |
